Leah

I can't get the idea of adopting a little girl out of my head.

Now I know what my mother will say about all this and she can chide me if she wants. I know I am gonna hear about it but the idea keeps coming back to me. I can't seem to stop it. It's not the first time in my life that I have entertained the thought either. In another life (read; back when I was with someone else, many moons ago), the idea of adopting was discussed openly. A few very close friends I know and love were adopted as babies, some even were adopted from the Ukraine. So it's not an entirely foreign concept. I know I am no where near a perfect mother, and I am still learning patience and tolerance, understanding, selflessness, compassion, and I don't know if I will ever be able to keep my house clean as some, but there is so much room in my heart and soul to welcome more children into my life. Does this make any sense? For some it's probably completely insane. For others, it's probably as normal as breathing. So in the past month, while the idea has been spinning and weaving it's little self into my brain, I have had some time to look into adoption.

One little girl's picture keeps me coming back everyday. Lil Leah. Born April 17th, 2008. Fifteen days after the Bean joined our family. She is from Eastern Europe and just like the Bean, she has Down Syndrome.


She's so pretty and I keep thinking about her. I wonder what she is doing and where she is sleeping and if she gets nice sweet kisses everyday. If she is learning to crawl or eat solids? Is anyone reading her books or giving her nice warm bubble baths? I wonder how happy she is. This picture makes me hope that she is doing well. She's in a beautiful pink shirt all cozy in her bed. Someone cares enough to put her in the pretty pink shirt. I just wish I was able to hold her and make her safe. At 10 months now she needs a lot of play, and toys, songs, books, laughter and love so that she can develop and grow to her fullest potential. Uhg! I just wanna scoop her up and give her the chance to grow with the Bean. The two of them together. Their laughter and foot steps filling my house. Now I'm crying.

I remember as a child, when I was about 9 or so, just after my brother Andrew was born, I found a missing children flier some where. I remember hiding in my bed room crying, looking at all the babies and little kids that were missing, scared and alone without their parents. My dad heard me and came to see why I was crying and I told him I was sad that these poor babies were alone and that I wanted to help them, they could sleep in my room and share my things.

Now that I am an adult, a woman, a mother, I have the wherewithal to actually do something to help even just ONE child. To give the safety and love and support to just one child who can't help themselves.

So, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Please don't think that I don't love or like my family. That's the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, I love them dearly and know how wonderfully accepting and loving they are! What fabulous love and attention they would shower on a little baby girl. They are amazingly supportive.

Maybe one day. For now I will just hope that Lil Leah is doing well and being treated with love and care.

I wish she knew that there was someone thinking about her. Hoping for nothing but the best for her. Loving her precious little eyes.

What a sap!