Tuesday, December 2, 2008



So! We have a lot of fun with Hunter some days!

I was singing and talking to him one night when he was fairly tired and I was talking about the cats I think. I must have been, because I meowed at him, innocently. He burst into tears. Now, DAD, seems to find pleasure in making Hunter do the big fat lip, near tears face, so when I showed him the Meow reaction he decided to have a little fun.

I always enjoy filming David and the Bean together. Dave simply adores Bean and you can just see how much they love playing together.

Here are a few more newer pics of Hunter. He's getting SO BIG!


Ok. So I admit it. Im having a hell of a time keeping up the blog. It's terrible cause I really enjoy writing here but I cant seem to find 20 mins a day to write a little blurb. So I vow to make an honest effort! The first thing I would like to do is share a few new videos of Hunter, who is getting sooooo big! Then I will take some pics of the house once I have the Tree up, which I would like to do this week.

I have also decided that I would like to seriously invest some time into Scrapbooking. My mom set me up with everything I need to start a Scrapbook of Hunter Bean but I haven't really had anywhere to work on it or much free time. But I was in Michael's Crafts yesturday and I started to get excited about different ideas I had. I would like to start a baby book and a family book. One for all Beans stuff and one with pics of all of us camping, on vacations, halloween, Etc.

So here I go! The bean is on the couch napping and I have a few minutes! First I'm going to start by cleaning the living room and getting the tree out! Then I'll up load the pics and videos from my camera and post them! Wish me luck!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Bean

This is our Son Hunter!
We just call him The Bean, Bean, Beany, Beanzors!

"Dear do you have The Bean?"
"Where's The Bean?"
"What's The Bean says?"

Hunter was born April 2nd, 2008. He is nearly 6 months old, which is quite shocking because everyone always says, "Oh the time just flies, they grow up so fast you know!" and I always thought, "What is everyone talking about?". When I was pregnant it felt like 19 months till he was finally here. I was so impatient and excited and I just wanted to see his little wee face. Time went by so slowly. Now he's here and it's shocking how fast he is growing. He was just a wee bit of a thing when he was born. He was 4 lbs, 14 oz. Now he's nearly 17 lbs, most of which is cheek, both ass and face! Ha ha. Babies are supposed to double their birth weight by 6 months, not quadruple their weight by 5 months!

Regardless of his size, he is doing phenomenally well. He is so healthy. He hasn't been sick since he was born and he stands! He loves standing! He can't stand without help balancing but he is so strong and he wants to stand on your lap or the counter or where ever. Every chance he gets. He he he!

Hunter was born with Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome. We did not know before he was born that he had Down Syndrome (DS) but he did have an enlargement of the ventricles in an area of the brain that the Doctors felt needed to be monitored. They wanted make sure that the ventricles didn't grow any bigger and become hydrocephalus which in layman terms is "water on the brain". His ventricles never got any bigger and the Doctors felt that everything should be OK. They had me come in twice a month for the duration of my pregnancy for ultrasounds to check on baby just to make sure nothing had changed. I was offed an Amniocentesis which I declined. David and I discussed the operation and decided that it wasn't work the risk and no matter what the outcome we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. We were also told that there was a very, very small chance that the baby would have DS as the enlargement of the ventricles was not directly related to DS at all. Additionally, baby passed all the soft markers in utero that suggest DS. So we just carried on, excited to meet the new Hunter James Ross whenever he was ready to come.

May 31st, 2008, I went in for yet another routine (or so I thought) ultrasound. I waited in the ultrasound room for what felt like ages. Dave took Sam across the street for blood work and called me to see if I was ready to be picked up but no one had come back into the room to tell me what was going on yet. I still hadn't seen the doctor who usually came in to say "Yep still looks good!". But I just waited. When the US tech came back she asked if I could follow her to a room to wait for the Doctor who would come and talk to me about the US. Same old, Same old. I waited in that room for another 20 mins I think. Finally, two doctors came in to talk to me. I thought at first one was perhaps doing a practicum, or whatever Doctors do. Just standing by watching and learning. But I guess not. I was told that Hunter's ventricles had not gotten any bigger and that things looked fine in that department, but that he hadn't grown at all since the last US. I thought that was kinda odd, because when Dave had been in the room with me, we were doing the math on his weight from the US to see how big he had gotten and for some reason our math was working out wrong and he was weighing the same as last time we came in for and US. We just assumed our math was wrong. But now I had to Doctors telling me the same thing. He hadn't grown at all in two weeks and the placenta was probably having a hard time feeding him and he needed to come out.

"What do you mean he needs to come out?" - me

I was pretty much told that he would have a better chance if they induced labour right away.
But of course that still didn't sink in and I asked when.

"Well we will make an appointment for you to go to Peter Lougheed Hospital for tomorrow morning." - Doc

"Are you shitting me?" - me (yep I'm that classy)

No, he says, we aren't.

Tomorrow was April fools, so can you see my brain reeling?

Dave was finally back with me at this point and the Doctors finished explaining what needed to be done. That night we rushed around town grabbing the last few tings we needed before baby came. Breast pump, Nursing bras, tiny baby clothes. We made plans for Samuel to stay with some friends of the family the following day. He was a bit of a mess and we told him he didn't have to go to school.

We were all ready to go to the hospital the next morning. We had an appointment for 9:30 am to be induced. Apparently hospitals don't have to keep appointments. I was finally induced at 12:30 in the afternoon. Dave took the day off to be with us and to meet his new baby boy.

We were asked to wait and hour so that the nurses could monitor me. I didn't really feel anything as far as contractions. An hour later I was told that we could go home and if i didnt have any further contractions within 6 hours that i would have to come back to be induced again. If I did have contractions, I was to wait till they were very strong and I felt ready to push, then come back. Well I felt no contractions by 6 pm so we packed up Samuel and took him back to a family friends house and headed back to the Hospital.

It was 10:30 pm or later, if I recall correctly, when I was finally induced a second time. The doctor that did the induction the second time was so cute. She used two applications and says to me "We'll see you in a couple hours." I said "Are you sure this time?" "Oh Yeah!" she says. Indeed!

I honestly don't have an accurate account of what time things started happening but I know that we needed to go for a walk and see Chelsea who had been waiting at the hospital since 10 am. We went down to visit her in the cafeteria, me in my scrubs. And I remember it was then that I was really having contractions because I was stopped dead in my tracks while walking. We quickly made our way back to the labour and delivery ward.

Not more than an hour later I was in a room on a bed, having contractions so bad I was puking, shouting so loud I woke up three women in the same room. Dave says I walked to the private delivery room but I really don't remember that. I spent roughly five hours in that room, struggling through the most intense and catastrophic pain I have ever endured. I could not have any pain killers because baby (who was on a heart rate monitor the entire time) was having a hard time. His heart rate would drop so dramatically every time I had a contraction. It got so bad that poor Jasmine, my nurse, had to turn the volume OFF of the heart rate monitor because I thought baby was dying. His heart rate would drop from 120 or higher to 60 or even lower, which is about a beat per second, and when you are having contractions every 2 mins, 4 seconds feels like 4 minutes.

I was allowed Nitrous though!!! GOD BLESS GAS!! WOOT!

I still FELT the pain, but it was as though I didn't care. I was so far off in LaLa Land that the pain was just... It was like being reaaaaaallly huge and some tiny little ant was biting your big toe. You could feel it, but it was a long way off. I think that's the best way to describe it.

At roughly 5:25 am or so, the on call Doctors decided that things weren't working the way they should be. I had only dilated 5 cm, they had to break my water for me which didn't help. They then proceeded to re waterify me. They put amniotic fluid back in to keep baby ok. That didn't help. Finally they decided to do a C-Section. All I could say was Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Mean while, Dave and Chelsea, poor guys watching all this, tearing up, struggling to sleep or keep sane through all the insanity.

By 5:35 I was on a stretcher, wheeled into the operating room, and spread eagle for all to see.
I got a Spinal after the first epidural didn't work. I was numb from the breast bone down, all I could see was the ceiling, SUPER bright lights, and a blue tarp in front of me. While I was being scrubbed and painted with iodine Dave was being scrubbed up (he he he do you see the pun there? Mom does I'm sure). He was lead into the operating room and sat beside me (I think). MAN!!! I have never seen a sexier man in blue scrubs. Just looked so good, and brought out his blue eyes! I was so happy to see him. I felt like everything would be OK now. I had him there and I would be OK.

Baby Beany was born at 5:48 am. Tuesday, April 2nd, 2008.

He was shockingly cute. Both Doctors who did the C-Section gasped and swooned over him when he came out.

I didn't get to hold him right away, but I did get a quick glimpse of him before they hurried him off. I then spent 20 agonizing minutes in a waiting room on a bed with some frigging pressure things attached to my legs, keeping the blood moving I guess.

After that I was rolled on my bed into the Neonatal intensive care unit to see my boy. I really should post the pic of me holding him for the first time ever. I look like death. But I still love it!

I've never seen anything so amazing in my life as that tiny little boy. I love him beyond imagine!

Just a few more pics of my plants in the Day light

See!!!  Im a good fish mommy! Onimusha is a happy Fish.. he makes bubble nests all the time he so happy!  I just kinda.. forgot about Fukurokuju! :( 

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Grass is always Greener!

Well after the rant about being lazy I had A moment to think and realized that I actually am proud of some of the hard work I do around the house.  I wanted to share my herb garden, which has out done itself!

I have bunches of chives and one garlic chives. There are two different kinds of sage, a beautiful Silver thyme plant which is my favorite, two Lemon balm plants that actually started as one lil baby lemon balm, two rosemary and a wicked little pepper plant that is growing two nice sized peppers at the moment.  The main reason I'm so proud of these plants is that I've never been much of a green thumb and i got all these plants on sale at the Super store.  Sam and I thought they wouldn't really make it that long but we brought them home to give them a chance and they have done amazingly well. The lemon balm was a small lil bit of a plant and I split it in two to fit it in the strawberry planter I originally bought for them. Now it's over growing a 20 inch pot and the second plant is just flourishing in its planter box.   :D 

I also have three huge mint plants and two lavender plants in the back yard that I will trim and use for tea and the bath.   YAY!  I can grow pretty babies and plants that live! 

Maniac Mansion!


The house is a mess lately and I'm having trouble keeping up.  On one hand, I try not to be too hard on my self since there are four people that live in this house. That is four people who have clothes, lunches, shoes, laundry, diapers, paperwork, toys, trinkets and everything else you could possibly imagine.  Soooo, keeping track of it all, organising it all and putting it all where it belongs is a bit of an ordeal. On top of that I try to keep the kitchen quasi clean, the laundry semi organised, the baby fed and meals on the table.  But!  I'm realising that I'm not all that good at it.  Oh! I forgot mention the two cats, who being cats, have no consideration for me what so ever when it comes to HAIR, LITTER or HAIR BALLS!  In fact, I'm falling apart at the seams so much so that I think i killed my fish, or one of the two rather. I forgot in all the mayhem to change the water in his bowl, and he, well he rotted.  I was wondering why he didn't come out to eat last week. Guess he couldn't :(  LOL! OK that's not that funny, but it says to me "HEY! You're Slacking off!"  

So I've got to get re motivated.  

Not exactly sure where to start though.  There are a lot of things that need to be done around here.  

Hmmm. Let's start a list! 

(I won't include finishing the basement as that's primarily a Dave job, though I have and will help finish)

Clean and organise the Laundry room
Clean and organise the Storage room under the stairs
Bring the bikes in for the winter
Vacuum (which i really should do daily but who wants to fucking do that)
Organise Spare room 
Sort ALL Household paper work 
Clear off Kitchen shelf
Hang babies Toy nets
Hang Sam's Book Shelves
Microwave/Hood fan installed
Finish Belly bust (sand and paint)
Beany foot casts

Ok, so that's enough of being hard on my self. 

I'll get around to it when I get around to it I guess.  
Hopefully sooner than later. 

Possitive thought for the day.   

"Nothing is rotting!"  (other than the fish... which i Flushed :P ) 

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Look what my mother has done to me now!

I found out on January 30th that my mom, Queen of computer paranoia, Has a Blog!

Infact, not only does she HAVE A BLOG, but she has been BLOGGING since Thursday, January 26, 2006. 
Here is a cute quote from my dear mothers first Blog. (I really hope this doesnt backfire on me one day when my kids find out that I have a blog!) 

- "I have decided to set up a blogging site -- get myself into the computer world of online diary and bearing my soul to the world. Good - I see there is spell check here."

The reason I'm quoting from her first blog is that as I get older I find my self to be so much like my mother that its kinda eerie. Frankly, that is something I would have said myself. Good thing they have spell check!

I've also come to realise, as I get older, that being like my mother isn't half bad. She's amazing at her art of quilting. My Best friend Chelsea and I have spent hours reading my mothers blog, pouring over her pictures of fabrics and quilts, and various projects, completely in awe of her talent. To be that talented and that passionate at something, is certainly a gift. I only hope to have the talent, patience, and passion that my mother has for quilting. Perhaps it's something that she can teach me. I would love to get into quilting, I just dont have a sewing machine!
All the beautiful fabrics and patterns that I've seen! Wow! And to be able to pass on hand made gifts that mean more than any store bought item! Priceless. Perhaps this is something that could be handed down through our family. My mother sure seems to have an unsurpassed talent. Like Mother Like Daughter!

I also hope to be half the mother to my children that my mother was for my brothers and I.
Her resiliance, patience, sense of humour and unconditional love have made her the most amazing woman that I know today. People tell me all the time how much I am like my mother. That used to creap me out as a kid. But from now on I will say "Thank You"!

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

Holland even has Rembrandts

Welcome to Holland - Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this ...When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip … to Italy. You can buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. Its all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands.

The stewardess comes and says "Welcome to Holland.”“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a new language and you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.

But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I planned". And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.