Phoenix Autumn Ross

On November 10th I went to the OBGYN for my 38 week check up. Once again my Blood pressure was extremely high and the Doc's were not happy. Dr. Steed decided on that Tuesday morning that it would be best to have a C - section as soon as possible to ensure that the baby was safe. He called the hospital and booked an OR for that Thursday at 2 pm. We were scheduled! I called my mom as I left the Doctor's office to tell her when the baby would be coming. She was going to fly out and spend some time with us once she arrived. (Funny how we say once the baby "arrived" as though it hadn't already been with us for the last 9 1/2 months, he he he). I told my mom that we were going to be having another c section on Thursday. She told me that Thursday was actually my Gramma's birthday! That was awesome! It also happened to be my friend Kyle's birthday as well. Early in the month I had been complaining to Kyle how I wanted the baby OUT! and that I was totally sick of being pregnant. He said I should just wait and have the baby "next Thursday" as though I had ANY control over it at all. Well, Happy Birthday Kyle!
I tend to be kinda spacey some times, so here I am drinking coffee and sharing oatmeal with Hunter first thing in the morning the day of my surgery. TOTALLY forgetting that I needed to have an empty stomach for at least 12 hours PRIOR to major surgery. When I told Nana that I had coffee and oatmeal she laughed and asked if I had forgotten that I was having the baby that day. I said no, that I had just forgotten I wasn't supposed to eat after midnight, as if I was a gremlin. It wasn't the end of the world though. The anesthesiologist just put the surgery back 2 hours so there was no chance that I would die during the operation.

4 pm they had Dave and I put on our scrubs and head down to the OR!

It was the same operating room that I had my C - Section for Hunty in. It was a very strange feeling to be back in that room but this time around I was more cognitive of the events going on around me. The last experience I had in that room was fairly traumatic and I really wasn't aware of what was going on. Major surgery is a scary, scary event! Iodine and BP monitors, drapes and nurses, anaesthesiologists and machines that go ping! "Your blood pressure will drop rapidly and you may feel like vomiting." David and his teary blueberry eyes! Not knowing if I was ever gonna make it up off the table. Three people PUSHING on my abdomen, heaving on my chest and stomach, "encouraging" the baby to come out. And Doctor Gibbons - "ohh, Did you know it was a girl?" Me - "IS IT A GIRL?!" Yes! Tears! The feeling of Joy, the feeling of Relief in my body to no long be pregnant! Numbness! Happiness! And David is there with me! And now I just want to hold her! and where is my Little boy?!

To make a long story short, so as not to bore you, Phoenix Autumn Ross was born at 4:57 pm November 12th, weighing 6 lbs 2 oz and measuring 19 3/4 inches long!

If I have one word of advise to anyone who is pregnant, it is "READ THE CHAPETER ON C-SECTIONS! Even if you think you have no intentions of having a c-section, read that chapter! You NEVER know what could happen!"

Day 5 of 31 for 21

Well I created and STARTED this post on the 5th and didn't publish it.

I'm off the hook!


Today is my last day of work. I am completely Enthralled!

I have zero to no motivation to work, so it's rather fortunate that it's extremely slow tonight!

Now, I get to fill my hours and days with house keeping, toddler minding, baby prepping, vacuuming, dinner making, kitchen cleaning, and doctors appointments!

Soo... Am I really off the hook?

September! Where have I been?

Well, this will be my second post for September. I am totally disappointed that I have dropped the Blogball. I suspect that the summer, being pregnant, having a toddler who finally toddles, preparing for maternity leave and work have all attributed to my complete lack of blogging skills. I suspect this is probably my 10th apology for being a slacker! lol

Well, As another update, I went to the OBGYN on Monday and I spoke with her about the best course of action as far as labor/delivery goes. The problem I was facing was my concern for Hunter when I go into labor because I really NEED Dave by my side when I have to go into the hospital, but we don't really have anyone who I can count on 100% to take Hunter at the drop of a hat when I finally go into labor. My momma has quite a bit of time off in November, which if we KNEW for a fact what day the baby was coming, then she could be here to take Hunty while Dave and I are in Hospital. The Doc/OBGYN asked if I was preferential to having another C-section or a vaginal Delivery. I told her I honestly didn't care but as far as the life/scheduling issue goes, the C-Section makes the most sense. So, We scheduled a C- Section for November 18th at 8am! This works out perfect for My Momma's schedule because she has from the 17th - 26th of November off work. She will Fly in on the 17th and be there to watch Hunty and meet the new baby right away. The Doc mentioned that if the baby does come early I still have the option of a C-Section, I just have to go to the hospital and tell them that I have one scheduled and they will do the C-Section right away. OR, should I want to have a vaginal birth if the baby comes early, then I can do that too.

I'm happy that is all straightened out. I am still going to pack my bags for the hospital in case of an early arrival. I am also thinking I should have a bag of Bean's clothes, snacks, diapers and things packed for him as well so that if need be a friend or Aunt or someone can come get him from the hospital. In the even of an Early arrival that is!

OMG it's coming soon!

I was talking to my mom about the decision to have another C-Section. I told her I didn't need to have a vaginal birth to feel fulfilled as a woman and a mother. We got a chuckle out of that. But it's true, I really don't need to feel the baby come tearing out of me, screaming and pushing and all that jazz to know and feel like a mother. Dave is not looking forward to the whole hospital experience, as it seems to traumatize him. It's inevitable tho. I keep telling him "At least YOU don't have to feel any pain!"

Patience is a virtue

I have been a lazy blogger lately, even though there is much to share.

Ha! The irony is that not many people read my blog so I don't think I am really keeping anyone in suspense. My life isn't all that entertaining. I did, however, Dread my hair.

I dyed my hair with a bad Non-natural hair henna that completely fried my hair and I had been unable to brush my hair for probably 2 weeks after the dye. This frustrated me beyond measure. My hair was very dry and dead and there was pretty much no way to salvage it. I have been wanting to dread my hair again for some time now but I really haven't had the cajones to do it. (Cajones means balls in Spanish for those of you who don't speak Spanish, it's pronounces Ka Hoe Nez). So on Monday I had the day off and Dee and Chelly came over and Thrashed away at my hair for about... 7 hours. It was painful and irritating but they did a decent job, for women who have never done dreads before. A Lot of the dreads were WAY too huge for their own good so I have since ripped a bunch in half and am working on rolling and rubbing them. My scalp is on fire and I just want to spray cold cucumber water in it. I don't know why cucumber water. Probably cause cucumbers are cool and soothing and smell nice. As of right now, the burning scalp is not so pleasant. That will heal soon enough I'm sure.

I swear, (!@#$!@#) that lately, my life is all about teaching me patience. From taking up knitting, getting dreadlocks, a son with DS, and now another baby on the way. Is there possibly a more sadistic way to teach a woman patience?

"Hey kid, Wanna Learn how to swim?" ~SHOVE~

But, that's typical of my life. Can't just learn things the first time. Oh NO! Gotta do things the hardest way possible. Ha ha, which is kinda funny, because I had dreads once before. I loved them but I took them out because I thought my ex hated them. I thought that getting dreads the first time was a mistake. Perhaps the dreads weren't the mistake. Perhaps giving up something I liked to make someone else happy was the mistake.
Which was more the rule than the exception in my last relationship. Hence getting rid of his lazy, drunken, stupid, useless, rotten filthy ass! (did I say that out loud?)

Anywho! I'm happy I have dreads again. It shall be a long and arduous process to get them to a stage where they are in a really nice and respectable dreadlock shape. Till then, I need to rub and tug till my arms fall off. Ha Ha!

My mother can once again take pics of me next to the ass end of a llama, and she can smile and say, "Which one is my daughter?" LOL only my mother will understand this nonsense.

This is me the last time I had dreads.

No Occifer I has not been drinkins!

So that was a few summers ago. My hair and dreads, are shorter now but they are still cool!

Oooh I was way skinny there too! Le Sigh!



Right! So I quickly mentioned the baby bit! For those of you who don't know, D and I are having another baby. This was completely unplanned and completely unexpected. I was totally caught off guard by this new arrival. I wasn't feeling all that hot for a few days while my parents were here from Vancouver for the babies (I suppose I wont be able to call him the baby for very much longer) big birthday bash. I am Chronically late! Always. To the point where it is stressful and problematic. There have been many times where, 16 days late, I have take a Pregnancy test to see what the heck is going on, it comes out negative and sure enough the very next day I menstruate. Like Murphy's Law.

"Ha, got you all stressed out and spending money on tests. Now's a good time!" ~ My period

I wasn't even sure how late I was, and frankly I have no idea when my last menstrual period was, or LMP as "They" like to call it. So I took a stinking test, thinking, Chiding myself, "Frigging 15$ on another stupid test because I can't wait another few days. Why is it always that I have to go through this every month? Why can't I just be on schedule?!"

And, Thinking nothing of it, I didn't look at the test right away. When I came back to the damn thing, it's positive. Positive that I am pregnant. I LAUGHED! I LAUGHED MY SELF SILLY IN THE BATHROOM! Then I looked at the pee stick again and just kept laughing. I honestly don't know why it was so funny. Probably because it caught me off guard. I went down stairs and told Dave. He was happy. He is always happy for more babies. He would rather have babies then dogs or cats. Says they are way easier to take care of then pets. I laugh at him.

Funny thing. I asked Dave, "When did this happen?" he said "We have sex more often then you think we don't." LMAO! So that's when it happened I guess! I must have been asleep!

Personally, I think The Bean sent us this baby. He wants a little sister (or brother, if it HAS to be another boy I suppose I'll manage). This lil babe is the best thing that could happen to the Bean. He needs someone to grow up with and share things with. He needs a best friend in life. Someone to take care of him when I am old and grey. He needs a little sister to watch out for him at school and spend weekends with him when he is living in his own place. Teaching him how to cook for himself, or taking him to all the new and cool restaurants. Someone to watch movies with. Someone to share a sleeping bag and a Smore with when we go camping! Think of all the fabulous and wicked things they will do together. My little boy can't grow up alone. And that is how this baby got to be. Beany sent her to us. (/Crosses her fingers for a her)

My first Ultra Sound is on Monday the 20th. I had totally forgotten what first trimester ultrasounds were all about, till the lady at the clinic reminded me to drink 4 glasses of water 1 hour before arriving, and my skin started to crawl and my bladder shrunk up into my tummy! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! What a pleasant feeling. To have an OVERLY full bladder while a stranger Presses a COLD, WET, JELLY COATED TICKLE WAND over your PEE SPOT! Needless to say I'm not looking forward to it. It's a 9:15 am appointment. I gotta get to an Ultrasound appointment by 9:15 am with a 1 year old on the bus. I seriously need my licence.

Ohh, and for all those who like to live vicariously, I am suffering with AWFUL, Overwhelming Morning sickness, except apparently my body can't tell time so ALL day is morning! Middle of the night! Must be morning! 4 pm in the afternoon! Seems like morning to me! Barf! What's that? It's 7:30 am and you want to have a cup of tea? HA HA! Nope, Sorry! It's morning!

I did not have this with Hunter. I was rarely, if almost never sick. I typically felt great. The third trimester was the worst because I was so fat and uncomfortable. But this time around I'm just constantly ill. People tell me this is a sign that it is a girl. Everything I read suggests twins. Ha! Wish me luck!

Oooh and to add INSULT to Injury! I can't enjoy a cold beer on my deck with my hubby and our fancy BBQ this summer!


Sooo, aside from that my knitting has been totally LACKS lately too, I'm not sure why. Just stuck in a "I would rather surf the Web Phase" I guess. I am making some progress on a baby blanket for Hunter at the moment. Well, one half of it. I will take a few pics of it when I get a chance.

My momma A.K.A. Nana made this Amazing needle pouch for me! Wow! Just so gorgeous. I will post some pics of that tomorrow too. I have Thursday and Friday off so I should have time to clean the house and post some new pics of things.


Well. Till tomorrow all you lurkers!

Hi Sandy! Hi Shane! Hi G & G! Say hi to Sharon for me! Hope to see you guys soon!

Canada needs a Prenatal Diagnosed Condition Awareness Act

Please Check out and perhaps sign this Petition.

"Technological advances in fetal screening are presenting parents -and doctors- with enormous ethical, psychological and social dilemmas. Vulnerable, and with limited or biased information as guidance, more than 90% of prospective parents in Canada choose termination if their baby is diagnosed prenatal with Down syndrome. They may never know there is a world of resources, hope and support out there. In spite of tireless efforts from support groups their information pamphlets rarely reach prospective parents at the time they need it most."

They may never know that the most loving and wonderful community exists. I have never felt such amazing support and understanding from any group of people in my life as I have from those who are involved in the Down Syndrome Community. From parents of children with DS to support workers, Doctors, Therapists, Mothers, Grandmothers, Friends of people who have children with DS, BLOGGERS! What a welcoming and wonderful world it is to be a part of. The fear of raising a child with Down Syndrome completely washes away and is replaced by a feeling of being embraced by everyone who is a few steps ahead of you on the same journey.

I want to thank each and everyone of you in this community for changing the face of Down Syndrome. For offering a hand to those of us who needed it. I hope that I, in turn, can offer my hand, can help someone up, encourage them on their way, and show them how exciting this journey will be!

The Bean

This is our Son Hunter!

We just call him The Bean, Bean, Beany, Beanzors!

"Dear do you have The Bean?"

"Where's The Bean?"

"What's The Bean says?"

Hunter was born April 2nd, 2008. He is nearly 6 months old, which is quite shocking because everyone always says, "Oh the time just flies, they grow up so fast you know!" and I always thought, "What is everyone talking about?". When I was pregnant it felt like 19 months till he was finally here. I was so impatient and excited and I just wanted to see his little wee face. Time went by so slowly. Now he's here and it's shocking how fast he is growing. He was just a wee bit of a thing when he was born. He was 4 lbs, 14 oz. Now he's nearly 17 lbs, most of which is cheek, both ass and face! Ha ha. Babies are supposed to double their birth weight by 6 months, not quadruple their weight by 5 months!

Regardless of his size, he is doing phenomenally well. He is so healthy. He hasn't been sick since he was born and he stands! He loves standing! He can't stand without help balancing but he is so strong and he wants to stand on your lap or the counter or where ever. Every chance he gets. He he he!

Hunter was born with Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome. We did not know before he was born that he had Down Syndrome (DS) but he did have an enlargement of the ventricles in an area of the brain that the Doctors felt needed to be monitored. They wanted make sure that the ventricles didn't grow any bigger and become hydrocephalus which in layman terms is "water on the brain". His ventricles never got any bigger and the Doctors felt that everything should be OK. They had me come in twice a month for the duration of my pregnancy for ultrasounds to check on baby just to make sure nothing had changed. I was offed an Amniocentesis which I declined. David and I discussed the operation and decided that it wasn't work the risk and no matter what the outcome we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. We were also told that there was a very, very small chance that the baby would have DS as the enlargement of the ventricles was not directly related to DS at all. Additionally, baby passed all the soft markers in utero that suggest DS. So we just carried on, excited to meet the new Hunter James Ross whenever he was ready to come.

May 31st, 2008, I went in for yet another routine (or so I thought) ultrasound. I waited in the ultrasound room for what felt like ages. Dave took Sam across the street for blood work and called me to see if I was ready to be picked up but no one had come back into the room to tell me what was going on yet. I still hadn't seen the doctor who usually came in to say "Yep still looks good!". But I just waited. When the US tech came back she asked if I could follow her to a room to wait for the Doctor who would come and talk to me about the US. Same old, Same old. I waited in that room for another 20 mins I think. Finally, two doctors came in to talk to me. I thought at first one was perhaps doing a practicum, or whatever Doctors do. Just standing by watching and learning. But I guess not. I was told that Hunter's ventricles had not gotten any bigger and that things looked fine in that department, but that he hadn't grown at all since the last US. I thought that was kinda odd, because when Dave had been in the room with me, we were doing the math on his weight from the US to see how big he had gotten and for some reason our math was working out wrong and he was weighing the same as last time we came in for and US. We just assumed our math was wrong. But now I had to Doctors telling me the same thing. He hadn't grown at all in two weeks and the placenta was probably having a hard time feeding him and he needed to come out.

"What do you mean he needs to come out?" - me

I was pretty much told that he would have a better chance if they induced labour right away.

But of course that still didn't sink in and I asked when.

"Well we will make an appointment for you to go to Peter Lougheed Hospital for tomorrow morning." - Doc

"Are you shitting me?" - me (yep I'm that classy)

No, he says, we aren't.

Tomorrow was April fools, so can you see my brain reeling?

Dave was finally back with me at this point and the Doctors finished explaining what needed to be done. That night we rushed around town grabbing the last few tings we needed before baby came. Breast pump, Nursing bras, tiny baby clothes. We made plans for Samuel to stay with some friends of the family the following day. He was a bit of a mess and we told him he didn't have to go to school.

We were all ready to go to the hospital the next morning. We had an appointment for 9:30 am to be induced. Apparently hospitals don't have to keep appointments. I was finally induced at 12:30 in the afternoon. Dave took the day off to be with us and to meet his new baby boy.

We were asked to wait and hour so that the nurses could monitor me. I didn't really feel anything as far as contractions. An hour later I was told that we could go home and if i didnt have any further contractions within 6 hours that i would have to come back to be induced again. If I did have contractions, I was to wait till they were very strong and I felt ready to push, then come back. Well I felt no contractions by 6 pm so we packed up Samuel and took him back to a family friends house and headed back to the Hospital.

It was 10:30 pm or later, if I recall correctly, when I was finally induced a second time. The doctor that did the induction the second time was so cute. She used two applications and says to me "We'll see you in a couple hours." I said "Are you sure this time?" "Oh Yeah!" she says. Indeed!

I honestly don't have an accurate account of what time things started happening but I know that we needed to go for a walk and see Chelsea who had been waiting at the hospital since 10 am. We went down to visit her in the cafeteria, me in my scrubs. And I remember it was then that I was really having contractions because I was stopped dead in my tracks while walking. We quickly made our way back to the labour and delivery ward.

Not more than an hour later I was in a room on a bed, having contractions so bad I was puking, shouting so loud I woke up three women in the same room. Dave says I walked to the private delivery room but I really don't remember that. I spent roughly five hours in that room, struggling through the most intense and catastrophic pain I have ever endured. I could not have any pain killers because baby (who was on a heart rate monitor the entire time) was having a hard time. His heart rate would drop so dramatically every time I had a contraction. It got so bad that poor Jasmine, my nurse, had to turn the volume OFF of the heart rate monitor because I thought baby was dying. His heart rate would drop from 120 or higher to 60 or even lower, which is about a beat per second, and when you are having contractions every 2 mins, 4 seconds feels like 4 minutes.

I was allowed Nitrous though!!! GOD BLESS GAS!! WOOT!

I still FELT the pain, but it was as though I didn't care. I was so far off in LaLa Land that the pain was just... It was like being reaaaaaallly huge and some tiny little ant was biting your big toe. You could feel it, but it was a long way off. I think that's the best way to describe it.

At roughly 5:25 am or so, the on call Doctors decided that things weren't working the way they should be. I had only dilated 5 cm, they had to break my water for me which didn't help. They then proceeded to re waterify me. They put amniotic fluid back in to keep baby ok. That didn't help. Finally they decided to do a C-Section. All I could say was Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Mean while, Dave and Chelsea, poor guys watching all this, tearing up, struggling to sleep or keep sane through all the insanity.

By 5:35 I was on a stretcher, wheeled into the operating room, and spread eagle for all to see.

I got a Spinal after the first epidural didn't work. I was numb from the breast bone down, all I could see was the ceiling, SUPER bright lights, and a blue tarp in front of me. While I was being scrubbed and painted with iodine Dave was being scrubbed up (he he he do you see the pun there? Mom does I'm sure). He was lead into the operating room and sat beside me (I think). MAN!!! I have never seen a sexier man in blue scrubs. Just looked so good, and brought out his blue eyes! I was so happy to see him. I felt like everything would be OK now. I had him there and I would be OK.

Baby Beany was born at 5:48 am. Tuesday, April 2nd, 2008.

He was shockingly cute. Both Doctors who did the C-Section gasped and swooned over him when he came out.

I didn't get to hold him right away, but I did get a quick glimpse of him before they hurried him off. I then spent 20 agonizing minutes in a waiting room on a bed with some frigging pressure things attached to my legs, keeping the blood moving I guess.

After that I was rolled on my bed into the Neonatal intensive care unit to see my boy. I really should post the pic of me holding him for the first time ever. I look like death. But I still love it!

I've never seen anything so amazing in my life as that tiny little boy. I love him beyond imagine!